groom

On the Hunt for Jim Groom

I feel like Michael Corleone (and actor AL Pacino) in the Godfather Part 3: living in a tired retread of a better past. They’ve pulled me back in.

I set up an agency. I finally found success on the coattails of my worst enemy: failure. I learned that failure was my muse. Failure, in fact, is the muse of all creativity. Thus we have FOM Talent Agency, where we understand that failure isn’t the end. For Failure is Our Muse.

But things have quickly turned sour. Famed author and referential humorist, Jim Groom, has gone missing. I’ve long been concerned over his relationship with a sketchy character who goes by the name of “Gonzo.” Back in my days of roaming the streets, I traced Gonzo back to a host of rather shady international criminals notorious for high-profile kidnappings. I tried to tell Groom, but he wouldn’t listen to me. This Gonzo figure had befriended Groom and worked his way in his life. What Gonzo was unaware of is that authors such as Groom won’t fetch a high price on the ransom market. Especially authors that rely on outdated Monty Python references for their humor.

Thus I am concerned for Groom’s life, and as one of the few people in the world with some knowledge of his disappearance, I have no choice but to return to my alter-ego, Jack Settig Neff, to track him down. I’ve posted a notice on the FOM webpage about his disappearance and what to expect. Myself, along with my agents, will post daily updates on our progress over the coming week. As well, I will keep an audio log which I will periodically update. Once I’ve made concrete progress on Groom’s whereabouts, I will post a video update to guide our freelance detectives further.

For now, I am on the lookout for Groom. I will update you all soon on my progress. Remember, friends, even when failure clouds our search, it is not the end. Let failure be your muse.

-Jack (Settig) Neff

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